First workshop of the year was last week and did I remember to snap any photos to share with you?
Nope. Nada. Zilch.
(Such a terrible documentarian, I know.)
But did I have an absolute blast teaching again?
Which kind of surprised me, to be frank. In a previous life, I use to teach multiple times a week, and while I tried to convince myself otherwise, I always felt a little dread in the hours that lead up to the class. Almost like I'd rather be doing anything else than go teach. So when I played with the idea of cranking up the teacher side once again, I felt some hesitancy:
What if I hate it?
What if I'm miserable doing it (again)?
Also, what if no one shows up?
First off, I was blown away by the interest. This first workshop nearly sold out!
Secondly, I was definitely caught off guard by how much I was actually looking forward to getting to teach again. Rather than the usual dread that tends to speed up the clock, I was filled with that can't-wait anticipation that instead seems to slow it down to a snail's pace.
Of course, in my usual mode of curiosity and desire to understand the why underlying everything, I've been sifting through the mental layers in an attempt to figure out what caused the shift in my mindset this go-round.
Have I landed solidly on an answer? No, but I've got a few theories:
Possibly, it was the stark contrast of getting a chance to be around other adults and have adult conversations after 99% of my time for the past year has been spent with my now one year old. Who, while being a very adorable and enjoyable one year old to be around, is not the most stimulating of conversationalists.
Or, it might have been, that for the first time ever, I'm not teaching FOR someone else (ex: a yoga studio or an art institution) and instead it's all me. I created the class from the ground up: marketed it, purchased all the materials and supplies, set up and cleaned up.
Maybe I was just looking forward to the novelty of getting be around other creatives after so many years of being out of art school. You know, to be around 'my people' again. It can be a cold and lonely world after you graduate art school...
Or, quite possibly, it's as simple as having been burnt out before. Because looking back I can now see that I was very burnt out. Like burnt out in a no-candle-left-to-burn-at-both-ends kinda burnt out. Yet, I held onto to teaching with a death grip because it was my only consistent and guaranteed source of income and I was scared shitless to let it go...
Hmmm...... Now that that spilled out, maybe I have discovered the why underneath it all.
Regardless, I truly had an absolute amazing time and am so thankful to everyone who came out. My mind has been overflowing with idea after idea for future workshops - some have even made it onto the calendar already and I'll be announcing them as soon as a few more details are ironed out, so stay tuned!
Until next time