This was a first. As such, I was rather uncertain about taking on this project. I actually sat on it for a solid week, just thinking on it, before I even confirmed with the owner that it was something I could do and do well.
I was hesitant not because I didn't think I could do it per se, as I was pretty certain I could. I have all the knowledge of the HOW after all but as this was the first time I'd be rebinding and repairing a book, I couldnt help but have a few 'what if' thoughts that kept me hesitant to commit and jump in. Add to that the fact that the pages are filled with the most lovely of drawings and poetry and that this particular copy was highly cherished by the owner...
Then, even after I thought about it, did some research, made a plan and committed to it. I still hit pause for another week by finding about a hundred other projects that suddenly needed completing, before I jumped in and began the rebinding process.
(Because again, 'what if' ?)
Of course, in typical fashion, once I began, all the worry and nerves just melted away and I found myself questioning why I was so nervous to begin with - why did I doubt myself? But as I sat with that question throughout the repair process I came to recognize that the nerves are because I care.
I care about doing a great job, not because I want the gold star or admiration or a check (all of which are nice, but not the impetus of why I create) but because I have a reverence for the importance that art holds in our lives and the intensity with which it can impact someone.
I truly believe art has the ability to shift worlds. To stop someone in their tracks and force them to question their deepest held convictions. To shake you to your core, to break you down and lovingly piece you back together. It has the power to soothe and comfort and to be a safe and soft place to land so as to rest awhile.
I guess when something so innocuous can do so much, feeling a little nervous is a rather appropriate response 😉